How to get through Mother’s Day when you’ve lost a child or mother

This Sunday, is Mothering Sunday in the UK. It’s a wonderful day to celebrate and show love to the mothers in your life.

The run up to Mother’s Day tends to be bittersweet for me. Memories come rushing in of labour and Josh’s funeral which collide with the excitement of celebrating my mum. People tend not to know how to treat me, and most have forgotten, but I will never forget. The same is also true for those who have lost their mum or mother figures. I watch my mum struggle with the same conflict, as we lost Grandma to a brain tumour.

On Mother’s Day, I feel a bit left out of celebrations, wishing that I was able to get a gift, flowers and a hug from my son.

How to  get through Mother's Day when

Here are a few ways you can make them feel special on this day and also tips for those of us in that situation: 

1. Send a text/FB message letting them know that you’re thinking of them This is really important, please remember them. 

2. Show then extra love on that day, even if they seem like they’re coping. You can never tell what’s happening on the inside. 

3. Write a letter to your child/mum, letting them know how you are, what you’re up to now and how much you miss them. 

4. Visit their grave, place flowers as a sign of remembrance.

5. Journal. Write down how you’re feeling, and where you are at in your grief.

6. Know that it will get better. It does get less painful, but this journey can take a while, be patient and allow yourself to go through the process.

7. Find a creative outlet for your loss, I wrote a song about it here:

7.  Move forward. Always. This doesn’t mean you’ll forget, but you’ll be able to place your energy into building your future.

You never stop being a mum, even if your child is no longer here. You never stop being a child, even if your mum isn’t here.

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Lots and lots of love,

 

Rach

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rachelyvonne

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